(D7 LM) Rise and Shine

[O'vala Aeser]

O'vala stuffed her hands in her pocket and hung her head. Walking like that was how she managed to run into things, or nearly so, often enough. "Yeah. I guess I don't know if I'm cut out for this sort of thing."

[Orgus Din]

"Well all thought you were." Orgus said. "We still do. What standards are you judging yourself by?"

[O'vala Aeser]

"Everyone else. You're all so put well-together, Silas is so confident in what he does. Zizzy is so smart, Ares and Byron are tough, Zanja is too, in a different way." O'vala clenched her fists. "And my sister was perfect."

[Orgus Din]

Orgus' expression softened. "Was your sister in your vision?" He asked softly.

[O'vala Aeser]

"Why did you even ask? Of course she was." O'vala stopped walking and crossed her arms. "Of course she was," she repeated, a bit softer.

[Orgus Din]

Slowly, Orgus nodded. "Why don't you tell me everything, O'vala?"

[O'vala Aeser]

"What's there to tell? It was a bad experience."

[Orgus Din]

"But that's not all it was." Orgus said sturdily. "It was also an opportunity to learn and grow. How you deal with it it will determine the sort of Jedi you become, O'vala."

[O'vala Aeser]

O'vala finally looked over at Orgus. "And if I don't deal with it?"

[Orgus Din]

Orgus' expression became serious indeed. "We do our best to help everyone. And no matter what, we'll make sure you have access to the best resources for that."

He shook his head. "But an attachment to doubt, or to fear, is one of the worst sorts. You would not be able to become a Jedi."

[O'vala Aeser]

"I don't think it's fear. Doubt, yeah, I guess." O'vala tapped the training saber on her hip. "I am getting better at things but I don't know how I'd ever catch up."

[Orgus Din]

Orgus shook his head. "Don't worry about how you compare to others. Don't even worry about how you compare to yourself. Just... be, O'vala."

He smiled. "I know that might not be totally clear. But it's the Jedi way. Comparing yourself to something gives you the chance to fail, or to come up short. So just don't."

[O'vala Aeser]

O'vala laughed a bit at the mention of her name. "That's the thing. Being O'vala. You told me, or at least some version, corrupted, whatever... Something that looked like you told me that O'nera should be the one still around. That things would be better if I was just like her."

[Orgus Din]

Orgus' expression softened. "Oh." He said.

After a moment, he smiled. "Well, don't listen to that Orgus. He's an asshole." He cleared his throat. "Or, really, that's your doubt talking. Trying to control you. Don't listen to it."

[O'vala Aeser]

"It's not that simple though. I can't just choose to turn it off."

[Orgus Din]

"You can't choose to turn it off." Orgus said sturdily. "But you can choose to make it true, or not. Do, or do not. That, too, is the Jedi way."

[O'vala Aeser]

O'vala sighed. "Still sounding too simple to me."

[Orgus Din]

Orgus shrugged. "That's how it is, O'vala. It's that simple. But keep in mind, simple and easy don't mean the same thing. It will require hard work from you. Are you up to it?"

[O'vala Aeser]

"Well it's that or being a loser..."

[Orgus Din]

Orgus shook his head. "That's not how you should think about it, either. Not being a Jedi isn't the same as being a loser."

He sighed. "Maybe we should talk about this again later. Think about what I've said, okay? And you can come talk to any of us anytime."