Jedi Academy

Taime....was not in the best head space he'd ever been in. What with the experience in the Vergence yesterday and that cold, dark feeling still sitting inside him from the cave, he knew he wasn't in balance.

He'd spent the morning trying to meditate himself back, but each time he closed his eyes, he saw that empty home or the uncaring look he'd seen in the fake Chriala's face. He'd eventually gone for a walk, so he wouldn't disturb his roomates with his mood. Eir was too smart at seeing through his attempts at hiding this and he didn't want to share this with her.

If he wanted to be alone, though, he would be foiled. He hadn't gone too far when he heard the familiar booted tread of Master Orgus.

"Taime." The master said, giving him a nod. "Fancy seeing you here. How's the day treating you so far?"

Trying to school his face to the best of his ability, he turned around. "Master Orgus. Its been...contemplative. How has yours been?"

"Contemplative, huh?" Orgus rubbed his head with one hand. "That sounds more productive than mine. I don't think I've quite made it to contemplative yet. But it's been fine, thank you."

He smiled. "So, what have you been contemplating, if you don't mind my asking."

Taime scuffed the dirt a bit with his shoe, trying to figure out a way to both spend more time with Master Orgus without him realizing what was going on with him. He'd been wanting this chance. Why had it come when his brain wouldn't cooperate?

"I spent much of the morning practicing meditation. It is...not my best skill." There, admit something but not the whole thing. Give him a fixable problem.

"Oh yeah?" Orgus shrugged. "Well, why don't we have a walk together, and maybe we can figure it out."

He set a casual pace, the better for talking. "So... what do you think's the problem?"

Oh crap, oh crap. That didn't work. He fell into line though, cause it wasn't like he was going to disobey Master Orgus.

"Uhh. I was having trouble focusing. Things kept popping into my mind and distracting me. By the end, I couldn't sit for long."

"Uh huh." Orgus nodded. "What sorts of things?" He was relentlessly patient, as always.

He tried to find a way out, but suspected he was already sunk. Sighing slightly, he said, "My experience at the Vergence. It was...difficult."

Slowly, Orgus nodded. "That's okay. It's not an easy experience. It's difficult for a lot of people.

He nodded again. "So, why don't you tell me what was difficult about yours?"

He looked at the ground, not wanting his face to show how he'd felt. "I was....home. And everyone was gone. It was...empty."

Orgus nodded. "From what Chriala told me, that would be hard." He gave Taime a sympathetic smile.

"Was there more?"

Oh shit. Chriala....How am I ever gonna look cool to him at this rate?

He looked up for a moment and then looked down. "At first, I thought it was over. I came out and found Master Chriala. I was so glad to see her."

He looks down at the ground. "But...it wasn't her. It looked like her and talked like her. But...its face was blank. Like I was a tool for its use."

Slowly, Orgus nodded. "I could see why that would disturb you. But... does it worry you?"

He nods. "My family...and the Jedi. They are the attachments I have in the world. I fear losing them. I know that fear can cause difficulties for a Jedi. So I must conquer this. But the fear is so...strong."

Orgus' expression grew more concerned. "It's okay to have friends. Even family. We understand how important that is to you."

He shook his head slowly. "But that fear... that's the sort of thing that drags someone to the Dark Side. You must find a way to deal with it. We can help you, but..." he grimaced, "-you have to be willing to at least loosen your grip on your attachments."

He nods, knowing what he says is true. "Perhaps this time will help. Making new friends and meeting new people. Realizing that there is not only a few people in the world, but that it is broader."

He chuckles a little. "Silas and I have been becoming friends, which is fun. He's got a very different way of thinking than me. I like it. It...pushes me to new thoughts. He has a lighter heart than I do. "

Orgus gave Taime a nod. "That's good. I'm glad. It sounds like you're on the right track."

He sighed. "I just worry. I do not doubt that your friends are true, and that Master Chriala cares for you. But loss comes to everyone, sooner or later. Will you be okay when it comes to you?" Of course, Taime had already lost him home in a way, but it wasn't quite the same as what Orgus was asking.

He shakes his head, not knowing how to answer. "I don't know. I suspect...it feels as though I've already lost so much. Perhaps I need to find another way to think about it. I have gained a great deal as well in leaving my family. I just...wish I'd had more say in it, I suppose."

Orgus nodded sadly. "Just don't let sadness turn into despair. Grief is natural. Despair can turn you to the Dark Side."

He frowned, considering. "Speaking for myself, I take comfort in knowing that all life rejoins the Force. And we're all part of it." He shrugged. "Don't know if that does anything for you."